The Automatic Infection
by slack-jawed cheese hugger
Summary: There are many things that Akito would like to avoid, and still more reasons why, but when he loses sight of them there is no going back. :Fem!Akito, spoilers through volume 18, rated for mild language:
1. 08: Forgotten But Not Gone

There is a reason she distances himself from them, despite the fact that she needs them more than they will ever know.

It's because they might begin to understand that they're not the only ones in need that she keeps herself away from them; because if they realize that they'll be free.

In this way she is required not to love them _too _much, because if she does, they'll leave, and she would lose his edge over Ren. That bitch.

The curse is hard on her juunishi, but they will never realize just how hard it is on her.

This is what runs through her mind as he sees Yuki turn to him with what she now recognizes as Kureno's eyes, and her anger is at herself for not being strong enough to hide her heart as much as it is at Yuki for not being stupid enough to believe what she tells him.

This anger wraps its hand around her hand, making her pick up the sake bottle and smash it on the table, making her reach to gouge out the distant eyes so Yuki will not leave her, so they will all stay with her forever, like they're supposed to.

They're not allowed to find anyone else.

That's why that woman, that _stupid_ woman is a **monster**; she's taking everything she's ever had from him.

She's too nice to ever understand, and his bitch of a mother is too cruel to loosen her claws so she might catch something else on its way down from where she sits, atop her high horse where she can't reach, because as it turns out she is still a child, and she has always been the first to see it.

The only person who loved her, who _really _loved her, was her father.

Isn't childbirth supposed to kill the female? she wonders. Isn't it?


	2. Aftermath X

Kureno swallowed hard. It was frightening to him to see Akito-sama in such a state, broken down and sobbing, but he had to be strong. What… she had done was intrinsically wrong, at a deep humanitarian level. Rin was already sick; what had happened did _not_ help.

And yet, he felt for her.

"I'm sorry," he murmured softly, bending down to gather her up.

She sobbed and grabbed weakly at his shirt, curling into him in a way that made her look even smaller. "He said… Father said…" Another wave of sobs. "He promised…!"

"I know," he said in a reassuring tone. "I know."

---

It was his fault, he knew that much, but the gray haze he had to keep his mind shrouded in didn't allow further exploration of that thought. The edges of his vision were red, but it was fading, if slowly. There would be no switching personalities today.

He was well aware he would end up being a _persona non grata_ at the main house for days, if not weeks, but he was prepared. Yes, he had had the foresight to plan for it, however dimly and half-heartedly.

Why?

Because preparing for it meant that he knew it was going to happen.

_Look where that got me_, he thought, shoving his hands deep into his pockets. _Absolutely nowhere. I'm sorry, Rin…_

Head stuffed up an introspective cloud, he almost missed her lying there, on the road, but he just barely caught the sight of her hastily chopped-off hair. The corner of his mouth twitched up in an almost-smile of the kind he reserved specifically for her, when nobody else was around, and headed towards where she lay half-conscious, totally unaware of his uncharacteristically optimistic expression.

---

In his 'office' at his house, Shigure jerked his head up, the hair on the back of his neck prickling. "It broke," he said aloud.

Having been passing by, Yuki stuck his head in, raising a light eyebrow. "What broke?"

Shigure smiled his fake, overly enthusiastic smile, mask perfectly back in place. "Nothing." He sighed dramatically, placing a hand on his half-bare chest and adopted a mockingly somber expression. "I am simply becoming senile in my old age."

Yuki made a little "ugh" sound, rolled his eye, and continued back down the hall.

After holding the look for a few extra seconds just to be safe, Shigure opened his eyes and smirked. "Who's next, I wonder," he muttered, shuffling his papers into a loose pile. "I do hope it's not quite time for game over. Too much fun… Right, Torii?"

"Don't push him too hard, it will reflect badly on me by association." Hatori stepped forward from where he had been leaning, arms crossed, against the wall, shadows concealing his presence.

"You can't make me," sang Shigure.

Hatori stared indignantly at his back, eyes half-closed, for a moment before turning to leave. "If you'll excuse me, Shigure, I have a patient to attend to."

As soon as he was gone, Shigure huffed and stuffed his papers in a drawer. "He's no fun," he whined childishly, resting his head on his arms on his desk.


End file.
